worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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