I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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