I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
