Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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