So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
