we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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