her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
