Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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