found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
