your parents love me but you hate me
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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