i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
then he tried to convert me to islam
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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