But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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