Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
