i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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