Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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