I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
3pm strippers are depressing
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
