I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
