Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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