I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sext me about skeletons
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
