I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
