the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
