Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize