airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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