If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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