Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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