he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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