The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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