we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
