i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
