Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize