You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
