Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
