I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
