I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
