I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
