well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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