dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
