A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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