The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize