I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
