Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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