I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I've blown a few things in my day
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize