Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
