The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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