Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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