Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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