I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
