Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I supernannyed him into submission
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize