And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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