plz talk dirty to me
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize