Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
