return my video game
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
