Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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