Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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