I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
