i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
