this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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