i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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