Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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