there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
