is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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