Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
