dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
