THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
