So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize