Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize