The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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