I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
