i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
