My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize