weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
