hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
