Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
