on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
