i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
This house was built for laser tag.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
