Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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