For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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