you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
