Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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