he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
