He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
